It's 4:30 p.m., and I just received a call from the media. A serial killer has just been captured, and they want a psychologist's take on why someone would kill and stuff women in barrels. I tell them I'm on it, and I'll get right back to them.

Now, as the P.R. guy for a health center, I know I'm not the only source they'll call to secure a shrink. I've got maybe fifteen minutes tops to find one of ours who is both available and willing to stand in front of a camera and theorize on what makes a sociopath tick.

So off I trot to the Behavioral Health department, dodging bewildered co-workers and carts laden with medical records. I spot a candidate, but she sees me before I can wedge a foot in her office door. She locks me out.

"I'm with a patient," she whimpers through her door, hoping desperately that this cup may pass her by.

I've come to understand that not everyone is as big a ham as I am, but unfortunately the media do not want my opinion on this particular serial killer. So I move on.
Yet, time is running out. I spot another candidate. He's too far away from his own office, and I'm able to corner him by some file cabinets.

"Doctor, could you please talk to the media about the guy who stuffed the women in the barrels?" While trying to edge around me, he states, "But I don't know anything about this case!" I've got 5 minutes left.

"Oh, they know that, Doctor. They just want to draw upon your general knowledge of and experience with criminal, aberrant behavior. It shouldn't take more than 10 minutes! And I'll be with you the whole time!"

I can see he's trying to envision himself before the cameras, but then a sudden realization dawns upon him. "Look at the way I'm dressed! We're moving files today!"

I've got 3 minutes left, and we're down to negotiating wardrobe. "Don't worry, I'll get you a lab coat!" With wardrobe solved, the Doctor revisits the issue of content. "Will they give me some information on the case?" Confidently, I dig in my pockets for the reporter's direct line. "Absolutely. I'll have them fax us background and questions for us to review before they arrive."

It's now or never. Please say yes. "Well, okay, I guess. Can you get me a lab coat?" As I run to the nearest phone, I yell over my shoulder, "Don't worry, I'm on it!"
In that particular case, I was the first one to call back and score the face time on behalf of my organization. Typically, I'm able to access media-seasoned health care professionals who are comfortable before the cameras. But there are iffy times like this one and others when the media call and nobody's home. When that happens, the only options are to cajole a greenhorn to step up to the plate or call the reporter and tell them the well is dry.

From the media's perspective, the next to worst thing you could do is throw a lab coat on the maintenance man and haul him out before the cameras. They could live with that, but we could not. The worst is to tell the media to come on down prematurely, only to have nothing to deliver when they get there. For this, they'll never forgive you.

When all is said and done, it's important to remember you're dealing with people and their needs. The reporter wants accurate information and wants it quick. Your in-house subjects want to be sure they won't look foolish on TV. And I want a media hit for the health center. So the best strategy is to play it straight with the reporter, play it sympathetic with the subject and, more often than not, you'll score.

Dan Barnett is Director of Communications for Swope Parkway Health Center. You can contact him at
dbarnett@swopeparkwayhc.org